Money can dictate the level of peace in the home if issues relating to it are not properly handled.
One of the hallmark of couples on course is to be good managers of their income. It is foolhardy and a direct way to confusion trying to live above what you can afford. The tension that follows will only rob the family of peace.
There are usually so many bills to be paid right from the beginning of the marriage; from house rent to electricity bills, medical bills etc.
As much as there are bills, so are categories of facilities. As we have elitist schools, hospitals, accommodation, so also do we have the ones for low and middles income earners.
If you can only afford to live in Yaba or Orile Iganmu, don’t put yourself under pressure renting a house in Ikeja G.R.A all because your friends are doing so. If you cannot afford holiday in Dubai, visit interesting places in Nigeria or neighboring West African countries.
It is better to be realistic about your financial status and not how people rate you or expect you to live. A lot of relationships are strained because couples want to be like others who probably have multiples sources of income.
If you can not pay for your children to attend schools with fees running into millions, why not look for a cheaper, decent school with good curriculum and save yourself and your children the embarrassment arising from non payment of school fees as at when due.
Designer clothes, shoes, bags etc do not make you look more human than those who don’t wear them. It is the state of your mind and how you carry yourself. All you need to work on is your self confidence. I remember one of aunties use to say “oyinbo se aso, ko se fitting.” Literally meaning, the white man created clothings but they can not create how it fits the one who wears it.
It is high time we stop following the joneses. Time to put an end to undue pressure over our family and be good managers.
She is the founder of Cassandra's Diary, a forum for trashing out issues in families.
Married to Dele, they are blessed with 3 children, Temi, Tolu and Alexandra.
In summary, my team and I, we are counselors and public speakers with a passion to raise model families.