He proposes at an elaborate ceremony; all eyes are on you; it came as a big surprise though you have been looking forward to the question. It is unheard of, no one says ‘no’ in such a circumstance. So, you said yes.
I don’t have issues with your saying yes but I have problem with your refusal to say ‘No’ when it became necessary.
Marriage is a life time contract and it should go beyond making decisions based on sentiments. Oh, we have gone too far together. I can’t imagine a future with any other person are sentimental assumptions that will not hold water when the consequences of your wrong decision begin to manifest.
We are in an age where you not only love with your heart but also with your head. There are many things you need to consider before walking down the aisle but for the pupose of this write up, we will consider medical investigations.
It is of utmost importance that you insist that both of you carry out medical tests to find out not only your genotype, but also other things like HIV screening, Hepatitis screening, rhesus factor etc. The result you get from these medical checks might be one of the deciding factors of whether your ‘Yes’ will still stand. And if you decide to stay, you would have been aware of what lies ahead and prepared.
The awareness being created all over the place was not there before now. For example, if your genotypes will bring forth a sickler, why continue? It is selfish to risk bringing forth children that will live with sickle cell due to no fault of theirs in the name of love. For someone whoshe partner is HIV positive, you can decide to go ahead with the marriage but it is good you know beforehand. For a lady whose rhesus factor is negative, it is pertinent you know before conceiving your first child so the medics will be prepared.
Folks, this is an age of information. Take advantage of it. Ignorance is no excuse. Love with your head.
She is the founder of Cassandra's Diary, a forum for trashing out issues in families.
Married to Dele, they are blessed with 3 children, Temi, Tolu and Alexandra.
In summary, my team and I, we are counselors and public speakers with a passion to raise model families.