“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” Proverbs 5: 18-19 KJV Bible
In the above verse, we see men being admonished to draw water from their own well, to allow their own wives breast satisfy them and to be ‘ravished’ always with her love. This tells us as women that the food that ‘satisfies’ a man is with his wife. It becomes a poison if he goes looking for it from somewhere else.
This reminds me of a couple I once counselled. The man kept complaining ‘she doesn’t give me food’. Knowing the wife as a good cook, I wondered why. The man later bursted out in frustration “She denies me sex and cooks good food, so I am as good as not eating at all.”
So, what kind of food do you serve in the inner room.?
Many women hide under religion to deny, regulate, or give tasteless sex to their spouses. Sisters, your holiness includes giving good sex to your husband. If you fail, you will give account to God.
WHAT SEX IS NOT:
It is not a tool for blackmail when you have a demand. For some women, it is give me what I asked for or no show.
It is not ONLY for making babies. Some women will close shop immediately they are pregnant or done with child bearing. Except on medical advice, you need your man more when you are pregnant. In fact, for a lot of women libido is higher during pregnancy.
It is not a seasonal event. Stop regulating love making. That is why it is boring to you. It is more exciting when it is spontaneous.
It is not a sin within marriage. Stop making the man feel like a sinner for demanding “Lift up your heads oh ye gates.” Rather gates are suppose to open of their own accord when the landlord comes.
HOW SHOULD WE SERVE THE FOOD?
As you are creative with your cooking, so are you suppose to be creative in serving the other food. As your man salivates and looks forward to the dining, so is he suppose to look forward to the inner room match.
– No 1 rule. Never ever be a dirty woman. Shave where you are suppose to. Dress well and decently. Christianity is not an excuse to look drab. There are decent clothes that will tease and excite your man.
– Send romantic texts to him or at least text or call to know how his day has been.
– Do the chasing too. No law says your husband should always be the one to demand for sex. He is your husband, and you own his body. When programme is in motion, touch him im sensitive places, the man down there will not bite you.
-Learn to communicate in the midst of it. If you are enjoying him, tell him how good he is. However, if he is not performing to expectation, don’t say so; you will kill his spirit. Use wisdom to guide him as to your need. You can guide his hand to where you want him to explore.
-Inject elements of surprise into your relationship. Don’t’ be too predictable.
– Madam, don’t fall into the category of ‘logs of wood’. I am sure you have heard that expression many times.
– What excites Mr A might not excite Mr B. Find out what triggers your man’s hormone. Discover where is power house is.
– Prepare the grounds by seducing him. It is allowed. He is your man. Wear those seductive lingeries and catwalk around your room like you are busy before going to bed.
-NEVER ever feign orgasm. A lot of women do not achieve orgasm and they will be pretending to massage their man’s ego. Madam, you are doing a great disservice to yourself and it wont be long before your interest in sex starts waning. Let your man know that it is not over until you are cool like he is. With time, patience and co-operation, you will be achieving it together.
It is a reality that some men fall into adultery and some even leave home, but for a lot of them, there is that thing they have in their wives that makes them always come back. The truth is, you can’t rule out the fact that ‘performance’ level of the woman sticks in the head of a man. The wife has set a standard, not just in lovemaking but in character and carriage.
She is the founder of Cassandra's Diary, a forum for trashing out issues in families.
Married to Dele, they are blessed with 3 children, Temi, Tolu and Alexandra.
In summary, my team and I, we are counselors and public speakers with a passion to raise model families.